I know, I know - I've skipped a few translations. The reason is simple: They are about subjects that would mean very little to people outside Norway. One was a blog about why feminists are no longer needed (in Norway, that is), one was about Norwegians' lack of knowledge about Obama espescially, and one was on the Norwegian language.
But this one is different; it's on the meaning of life. Not the song, the real meaning of life. Because humans are strange. We worry about things like where the Universe came from, which substances the world is made of, and perhaps most of all what the meaning of life is. These are questions which religion has previously tried to answer, and many of those questions have already been answered by sciende (even if some fundamentalists won't accept that).
But not what is, perhaps, the most important one: The question about the meaning of life. And no wonder! The meaning of life can hardly be measured in numbers and digits. It's a matter of philosophy, and like all matters in philosophy it's both hard to agree upon and hard to understand.
Religious people often think that the meaning of life is following God. This is espescially true in the monotheistic religions - and espescially the religions of Abraham - but also in several polytheistic religions; the meaning of life is equal to following the will of God. Or the Gods.
On the other extreme end of the scale, you have naturalists, which would say that the meaning of life is simple: It's all about the offspring. No, not the band. It's about having children, and making sure your children are able to have children of their own. Passing on the heritage. That's it.
The problem with both sides the way I see it, is that the person has no value in and of his or herself: In the religious view, the real value is God, and our own value is derived from following his will; in the naturalist view, man - like all other animals - only exist to reproduce, and that doesn't take into account man's ability of abstract thinking.
I didn't really want to write about the meaning of life. It's heavy shit, and it can easily get extremely long and exremely boring to debate an issue like this. Also I'm lazy. That's a big part of it. I have been doing a lot of thinking to come to the conclusion I have, and it might change as time goes by. It probably will.
Therefor we're going to cheat a bit, and I'll write up a shortened version. Fine, it's not that fucking short, but that's because I usually say a lot of bullshit for every good part that comes out of my mouth. Life sucks, get a fucking helmet.
So what is my opinion on the meaning of life? Or to put it more bluntly: What is the meaning of life? I mean - seeing as I'm always right and all. Well, to put it bluntly it dropped into my head one day as I was pondering fate. I don't believe in predetermination, but I have to admit there have been times where I felt like some things were meant to happen. Like a lot of events lead up to something particcular. At that time, what dawned on me was that maybe we didn't have a "destiny" as such, but that faith was our guideline. What I mean by that is: I considered that fate might be some force giving us directions by subtle hints - like getting us to look in a certain direction - and the meaning of life would be to follow the hints given. The problem with this is that it demands something like a higher power. It follows no logic. And it can't be tested. I don't endorse anything that can't be tested one way or another, or at least is logical. Some "fate" is not something I can endorse. But the part of taking hints from life, that is definately something I took into account when.
After much consideration, I reached a conclusion. It might seem fairly obvious, but the implications are not. The meaning of life is to be happy. It is enjoying this life and being happy. So how can we be happy? It varies from person to person. You can't say "to be happy, be a doctor!" But the thing I truely mean we all have in common, is this: You have to be rationally selfish. To clarify: You don't do the things you want to do (like stuffing your face with burgers all day, or stealing, or even kill someone if you're a right nutter), you do the things you benefit the most from (like working out, reading, relaxing when it's needed). It may sound simple, and I supposed it is, but people still don't. I'm not always good at it myself, actually. If you follow your dream, if you follow the carreer path you feel you are supposed to do, you are going to be happy - even if you end up shit-poor doing it. But we have to realize that we have to take a rational choice; that is, we have to do rational considerations and realize how that effects our lives. And then choose.
Because just laying on a sofa all day, every day for 20 years, isn't being rationally selfish - just lazily selfish :)
søndag 15. mars 2009
lørdag 14. mars 2009
Freedom of Speech
There - that's the blogpost about the meaning of life out of the way, thank fuck for that, so now I can finally write something useful. Yay me! To my steady readers, of which there are very few, I would just like to warn you that this won't be a very funny bloggpost - it will be a (probably bad) attempt at being serious.
It is worth noting, I believe, that this won't be a direct translation of the Norwegian version, nor will many of the others. The reason is that the wording in this article, like the others I will change, will feel very irrelevant to people outside of Norway. The message of most of the articles will still be relevant, but not how it is presented.
Otto Jespersen is the name of a Norwegian comedian. He has a weekly segment in a program whose name is translated to "The Thursday Club", wherein he bashes some celebrity, or old people, or a religious group, or whatever. What he did, was to make a monologue about the media and the way he though they focused on details instead of looking at the big picture - and one of the images he used was "think about the poor flees during World War Two who got killed, whose only crime was to reside on jews". Obviously a remark meant to critizise the ridiculous media coverage on meaningless things. However, the Israeli ambassador - of course - pressed charges, and he was accused by many for being anti-semittic. As a respons, he made another monologue that was even harsher - and you can see that here, with translations. As a result, however, TV2, the channel he was on, was convicted of "Unethical Broadcasting" by something called "Pressens Faglige Utvalg".
I am a strong believer in the freedom of speech. I think that we all have the right to criticize, and we all have a duty to accept criticism. To me there are two types of humor: Good humor, and bad humor. I couldn't care less if something is deemed "offensive". I laugh just as much from jokes about scousers, swedes, whites, blacks, and jews, and I think people's prejudices - no matter what they are - are fucking funny. What determines if it's offensive or not, is the thought behind the joke! I don't find it funny if a guy from the KKK tells a joke about black people, and I don't find nazis joking about jews funny, but if the same jokes are told by a black man and a jew, they can be funny as hell. The reason the satire in question is funny, is that it's very clear that he doesn't dislike the jews in particcular; he even says so straight out: "I have no reasons to hate jews in particcular. I am equally annoyed by all groups of people, regardless of race or religion".
This is very well illustrated in several of his monologues, perhaps espescially one where he talks about immigrants - where all moslem immigrants are viewed by him as men that beat their wives and steal money from the welfare state. He has also had monologues about people from Northern Norway, about the parents of small children, and about the elderly. None of these have led to any legal action, even though several of them have been far worse than the ones he had about the jews. Perhaps it's about time to realize that if satire is supposed to be protected under Freedom of Speech, it has to do so even if we don't like what's being said? Even if we don't find it funny? I'm sick and fucking tired of people who are arguing for freedom of speech when it's their own people being censored, and at the same time arguing against freedom of speech when it's someone they dislike.
And yes, that was definately aimed at religious people.
To quote Richard Coughland: May God Be Less.
It is worth noting, I believe, that this won't be a direct translation of the Norwegian version, nor will many of the others. The reason is that the wording in this article, like the others I will change, will feel very irrelevant to people outside of Norway. The message of most of the articles will still be relevant, but not how it is presented.
Otto Jespersen is the name of a Norwegian comedian. He has a weekly segment in a program whose name is translated to "The Thursday Club", wherein he bashes some celebrity, or old people, or a religious group, or whatever. What he did, was to make a monologue about the media and the way he though they focused on details instead of looking at the big picture - and one of the images he used was "think about the poor flees during World War Two who got killed, whose only crime was to reside on jews". Obviously a remark meant to critizise the ridiculous media coverage on meaningless things. However, the Israeli ambassador - of course - pressed charges, and he was accused by many for being anti-semittic. As a respons, he made another monologue that was even harsher - and you can see that here, with translations. As a result, however, TV2, the channel he was on, was convicted of "Unethical Broadcasting" by something called "Pressens Faglige Utvalg".
I am a strong believer in the freedom of speech. I think that we all have the right to criticize, and we all have a duty to accept criticism. To me there are two types of humor: Good humor, and bad humor. I couldn't care less if something is deemed "offensive". I laugh just as much from jokes about scousers, swedes, whites, blacks, and jews, and I think people's prejudices - no matter what they are - are fucking funny. What determines if it's offensive or not, is the thought behind the joke! I don't find it funny if a guy from the KKK tells a joke about black people, and I don't find nazis joking about jews funny, but if the same jokes are told by a black man and a jew, they can be funny as hell. The reason the satire in question is funny, is that it's very clear that he doesn't dislike the jews in particcular; he even says so straight out: "I have no reasons to hate jews in particcular. I am equally annoyed by all groups of people, regardless of race or religion".
This is very well illustrated in several of his monologues, perhaps espescially one where he talks about immigrants - where all moslem immigrants are viewed by him as men that beat their wives and steal money from the welfare state. He has also had monologues about people from Northern Norway, about the parents of small children, and about the elderly. None of these have led to any legal action, even though several of them have been far worse than the ones he had about the jews. Perhaps it's about time to realize that if satire is supposed to be protected under Freedom of Speech, it has to do so even if we don't like what's being said? Even if we don't find it funny? I'm sick and fucking tired of people who are arguing for freedom of speech when it's their own people being censored, and at the same time arguing against freedom of speech when it's someone they dislike.
And yes, that was definately aimed at religious people.
To quote Richard Coughland: May God Be Less.
This isn't really a new blogpost, considering I've written it earlier. It is, however, on an old blog which I no longer use, and since I am the author, I give myself permission to transfer it to this blog :Þ
I am guessing that most people by now have heard the song "Meaning of Life", made by Lazyboy, that were tormenting the airwaves a few years back. I thought the "facts" were fun, and I have quoted those "facts" myself at times - but then I heard the song a while back, and it hit me: How much of this stuff is really true?
Below you will find a list of all the claims. There are claims to which I have not yet found answers, and on some of those I have tried to use reason to get to a logical answer; others I have found, but they only apply to the USA and/or Great Brittain. Also - if you disagree with anything here, please let me know! I have tried hard to find the facts, but correcting mistakes is never a bad thing :)
1. Did you know, that 1 out of 4 Americans has appeared on tv?
Uncertain: This is something which I have not managed to figure out. However, everyone who has lived in the USA has seen all the overview images from stadiums, from big cities being fed live to TV, etc etc - so it doesn't really surprise me if it's true - at least statistically. What surprises me more, is how the other 75% do all they can to be on the other side of the statistics :Þ
[Edit: Since I haven't managed to find statistics, but tried to arrive at my own conclution, there will be no reference - unless you count "Inside Ranefer's head"]
2. Did you know, 61% of all hits on the internet are on sex?
True: After a lot of hassle, I did manage to find statistics on this from a source in the US (which showed abour 60%, but I guess it varies somewhat), and it wasn't all that surprising either.
[Edit: These statistics I would have to scan to show you - and I can if anyone wants to see it. I got it via snail mail from friends in UC Berkley. I honestly am not quite ssure where they found it, and endless googling has not yet helped.]
3. Every day, 21 newborn babies will be given to the wrong parents.
Uncertain: This is er actually taken from a statistical experiment regarding what would happen "if 99.9% was good enough - and which uses as an example a certain number of births per year. Now: I have not found any statistics at all on how high that margin of error really is in real life, so I have no clue if this is correct. However, the margin of error on something like this might be high enough in underdeveloped countries for this to be true I guess. At least it would explain how my brother and I can be "siblings" :)
4. The average person swallows 8 spiders in a year.
Not True: Not only is this false, it is a calculated lie :) It was used by a professor in the US as an experiment, to show an example of all the ridiulous things people would believe, as long as they had found the information on the internet! Oh, the irony....;) bare er dette ikke sant, det er faktisk en kalkulert løgn :) Det ble brukt av en professor i USA som et eksempel på absurde ting som folk ville tro på bare fordi det sto på internett! Oh, the irony...;)
[Edit: The source here is Snopes, which you will see multiple times throughout this text :)]
5. Cannabis is the most widely abused drug in the world.
True: And I guess this one comes as no surprise ;Þ
[Look HERE for source :)]
6. The average person laughs 13 times a day.
Uncertain: I have no idea. I have looked everywhere without finding any answers - but I can tell you that I would probably raise the average :)
7. Elvis was originally blond.
True: For all you Elvis-fans (not TRUE Elvis-fans, of course, they already knew this) out there who have thought that he was the "tall, dark man of your dreams": Elvis was BLOND! Woohoo, the King has fallen! :D Rumors have it that he dyed his hair black because he was a huge Roy Orbison fan. )
[Edit: Blond can mean a lot, though, and he wasn't bright blond. Sources can be found here, here, here and here]
8. The average age of first intercourse is 15.3 years old.
True: This is, however, only true in Great Brittain and the United States. It's not quite the same on a global scale. It can, if we are being nice, possibly be an indication on the average age of first intercourse in the West, but I am guessing that the average age might be somewhat different in fundamentalist moslem countries, for instance :)
[Edit: Here and here are some examples - and there are lots more.]
9. The average erect penis is 5'2" long - and 4'2" circumcised.
True - and doubtfull: Most statistics show the average length of a penis to be around 5'2''. However, the latter claim seems odd. Now: I am not a jew, but I do know that circumsition only involves cutting the foreskin - you don't cut off the top of the penis itself :Þ I think that they might have used the wrong word here, and that they tried to say "around" ("circumference?").
[Edit: Here i have used Wikipedia as source.]
10. Eskimoes use refrigerators to keep food from freezing.
Uncertain: Refrigerators work by pumping out hot air, so that only cold air remains (to explain in very simple terms). Thus it should also be possible to pump cold air out to heat something - and to keep it at around four degrees. But there is a problem. A heat pump, like the ones used in refrigerators, only work one way. You have a vaporizer on the cold side to remove heat, and a condensator on the warm side to absorb heat. It will take too long to explain in detail, but it has to do with differences in pressure. Therefor I originally made the conclusion previously that this was impossibe. However, when I started working as a salesman, I have heard a lot of sales coaches using this particcular example - selling fridges to eskimos - as an example of "thinking outside the box", and so I became a bit uncertain as to whether it might actually be true! I don't really see how it would be suitable for anything else than just pure isolation, but if anyone knows more than me about this - please let me know.
[Edit: For a simple explanation on how a fridge works, click here.]
11. 41% of all people take people with curly hair less seriously.
Doubtful: I guess it's possible, but it seems unlikely. I'd like to see those statistics :Þ Or, well, I might just think that because of my really unserious curls. Hmm...
12. 20% of all females have had at least 1 homosexsual experience.
Uncertain: I have not managed to find reliable statistics on this (and believe me, I have tried!), but one can always hope, right? ^^ However, considering that around 5% of the population at any time is gay, I guess four times as many having experimented isn't that unikely. Let's fight for further female experimentation! And let me know if you want someone cheering you on as you try :)
13. Did you know, that there is no such thing as an anti-wrinkle-creme?
Patially True: It's not really true, since a lot of companies claim that they have anti-wrinkle-creme. However, none of these products actually removes wrinkles or prevent them from appearing :) It is possible that some of them might tighten the skin somewhat right there and then, but wrinkles are excess skin, and they have to be either removed or tightened by surgery or something like collagen. I mean if you put make-up on a zit, it doesn't go away just because it's covered in shit :)
[Edit: This is getting fairly well-known by now, but the industry still claims otherwise. Here is one of my sources.]
14. 22% of the time, a pizza will arrive faster that an ambulance in Great Britian.
Partially True: This is taken from some statistics of the average delivery time for a pizza from a given point to another given point in certain English cities. It is notable, though, that a scooter, which delivers many of the pizzas, can get around a lot more easily during rush hour than a big ambulance.
15. 96% of all women have at one time in their life faked an orgasm.
Not True: This might come as a surprise to some, but the real number - at least according to a danish survey, is closer to 68%. This might vary a lot from country to country for all i know, though. Also, it might be that people are afraid to admit to having faked one. I still think that women should stop that shit, though :Þ The statistics on this are on danish, so I guess a link will do you no good :(
16. 3 people die every year, testing if a 9 volt battery works on their tongue.
Not True: It might be that three people die every year while testing if a 9 volt battery works on their tongue, but it's not the battery that kills them. Maybe they stand in the middle of the road while testing, what do I know. Volts don't kill someone - Amps do, and there's just not enough ampere in a 9V battery to kill a human being. Like I said, I guess they could die while testing, if they get hit by a car for instance, but the cause of death is still the car and not the battery. You have to use at least ten ampere to kill a human being - and a 9V battery has at most 20 milliamps. Quite a way off.
17. The 'Guiness Book Of Records' holds the record for being the most stolen book in the public libraries.
True: Source: Guiness Book of Records :)
18. Butterflies taste with their feet.
True: One of the less surprising facts in the song I guess....That being said - wouldn't it be cool to be able to taste with your feet? You know - licking your own soles after a long day in sweaty shoes? Mmmmmm.....
[Edit: Souces: here, here and here.]
19. 5% of the population is gay.
Sant: I mentioned this earlier as well. There are so many statistics on this that it's hard to decide which - if any - is accurate, but the statistics range from around 3% to around 6%. I do believe, though, that this can only be used for the west. I think that fewer people in, say, Iran would admit to being gay even in an anonymous survey.
20. The worlds best known word is 'okay', the second most well-known word is 'Coca-Cola'.
PArtially True: It's true that the world's most well-known word is 'okay', but I highly doubt that 'Coca Cola' is better known than 'mama' :)
[Edit: Among other site, this one claims that O.K. is the best known word in the world. With regards to "mama" it's probably the only word that has been so similar across the globe. I haven't found sufficient data on this, but considering 'mama' is used in languages like Mandarin, Hindu etc I find it highly unlikely that I am wrong :)]
21. The giraffe can clean its ears with its tongue.
True: And if you haven't seen this, go to a zoo!
22. Charles Chaplin once won 3rd prize in a 'Charles Chaplin look-a-like contest'.
Partially True: I really didn't believe this, but after doing some research on it, I actually foudn it to be at least partially true. Charlie Chaplin did go to a Charles Chaplin look-a-like contest, in a theater in San Francisco, but he didn't even make the final! That's according to local news sources. In an interview after the contest, he said he felt like giving a course in the Chaplin-walk, "both out of compassion and a wish to see things get done right" :)
[Edit: Here my source is once again Snopes. The link isn't direct, but search the site and you'll find it easily :)]
23. In 1995 a Japanese trawler sank because a Russian cargo plane dropped a living cow from 30,000 feet.
Not True: This is an old urban legend with great variation - so if you're thinking "oh, I've heard this one before", you're probably right. But it's not true :)
[Edit: Again Snopes]
24. Only one book has been printed in more copies than the Bible - the IKEA-catalogue.
Partially True: Well...It's true that the IKEA-catalogue has been printed in more copies than the bible. However, saying that the IKEA-catalogue is a book, is using a pretty wide definition of "book"! Also, the IKEA-catalogue changes every year - so I don't really buy the argument.
25. One cigarette takes away five minutes of a person's life.
Partially True: I'm beginning to get sick of writing "partially true"...What you do is take the average age of a smoker, compare it to the average age of a non-smoker, divide the time difference on how many cigarettes the smoker have smoked in his or her life - and voilà, you have lost five minutes per cigarette. In other words - you don't litterally lose five minutes for every cigarette you smoke. But they do add up :)
26. In 1950 we were 3 billion people on the earth - today we are 6 billion people.
Sant: Simple fact.
[Edit: Look here for source :Þ]
27. 'Donald Duck' was banned in Finland, because he doesn't wear pants.
Not True: Donald Duck wasn't even banned in Finland at all. What happened was: The city of Helsinki was short on cash, and the leader of a local party suggested that they should stop buying Donald Duck to local libraries, and prioritize hobbies and sports instead.
It is worth noting that the aformentioned party leader would come to regret the suggestion: Under an election campaign for the Finnish parliament, the press labled him "the man who removed Donald Duck in Helsinki", and he lot the election to another candidat - a man which, for the record, voted for the suggestion :)
[Edit: Snopes]
28. 74% of all nudist-females are nudists because their husbands are nudists.
Uncertain: I couldn't find any statistics on this, and I really don't know what to believe. At first it didn't occur to me all that strange, but the more I think about it, the stranger it seems to me. I'd appreciate any feedback on this one :)
29. More people die from a champagne cork popping, than from poison spiders.
Uncertain: Sorry, but I've drawn a complete blank on this one as well. I have no clue what so ever, and I can't find a single statistic over people dying from champagne corcs popping. I'm guessing it's not many :Þ men her er jeg helt blank. Aner rett og slett ikke, finner ikke noen statistikk over hvor mange som dør av champagnekorker i året, så si gjerne ifra hvis du finner noe!
30. 21% of all traffic accidents happen because the driver falls asleep.
True: This was actually the thing that surprised me the most. One out of every five accidents sounds like a lot, but I have now seen four different reports from four different countries, all showing a figure around 18-22%. Next on the list: Give me some statistics on how many accidents from backing up are caused by women!
[Edit:Here is a careful estimate of around 10%, whereas this speach, written by Torild Skogholm, based on a heap of research material from both Norway and abroad, operates with a figure of 30%. So I guess 21% seems about right - in any case it is a LOT!]
31. Did you know that originally a danish guy invented the burglar alarm? - unfortunately it got stolen.
Not True: This is actually an old "Victor Borge"-joke (it's Danish humor - don't try to understand...), and has nothing to do with facts.
[Edit: Oh my god, done at last! :D This one is also from Snopes. ]
Well, that's it! Comment if anything is wrong, I'll correct it as fast as I can :)
And finally - an additional weird fact that wasn't in the song:
Did you know, the bible has been translated into Klingon? :)
I am guessing that most people by now have heard the song "Meaning of Life", made by Lazyboy, that were tormenting the airwaves a few years back. I thought the "facts" were fun, and I have quoted those "facts" myself at times - but then I heard the song a while back, and it hit me: How much of this stuff is really true?
Below you will find a list of all the claims. There are claims to which I have not yet found answers, and on some of those I have tried to use reason to get to a logical answer; others I have found, but they only apply to the USA and/or Great Brittain. Also - if you disagree with anything here, please let me know! I have tried hard to find the facts, but correcting mistakes is never a bad thing :)
1. Did you know, that 1 out of 4 Americans has appeared on tv?
Uncertain: This is something which I have not managed to figure out. However, everyone who has lived in the USA has seen all the overview images from stadiums, from big cities being fed live to TV, etc etc - so it doesn't really surprise me if it's true - at least statistically. What surprises me more, is how the other 75% do all they can to be on the other side of the statistics :Þ
[Edit: Since I haven't managed to find statistics, but tried to arrive at my own conclution, there will be no reference - unless you count "Inside Ranefer's head"]
2. Did you know, 61% of all hits on the internet are on sex?
True: After a lot of hassle, I did manage to find statistics on this from a source in the US (which showed abour 60%, but I guess it varies somewhat), and it wasn't all that surprising either.
[Edit: These statistics I would have to scan to show you - and I can if anyone wants to see it. I got it via snail mail from friends in UC Berkley. I honestly am not quite ssure where they found it, and endless googling has not yet helped.]
3. Every day, 21 newborn babies will be given to the wrong parents.
Uncertain: This is er actually taken from a statistical experiment regarding what would happen "if 99.9% was good enough - and which uses as an example a certain number of births per year. Now: I have not found any statistics at all on how high that margin of error really is in real life, so I have no clue if this is correct. However, the margin of error on something like this might be high enough in underdeveloped countries for this to be true I guess. At least it would explain how my brother and I can be "siblings" :)
4. The average person swallows 8 spiders in a year.
Not True: Not only is this false, it is a calculated lie :) It was used by a professor in the US as an experiment, to show an example of all the ridiulous things people would believe, as long as they had found the information on the internet! Oh, the irony....;) bare er dette ikke sant, det er faktisk en kalkulert løgn :) Det ble brukt av en professor i USA som et eksempel på absurde ting som folk ville tro på bare fordi det sto på internett! Oh, the irony...;)
[Edit: The source here is Snopes, which you will see multiple times throughout this text :)]
5. Cannabis is the most widely abused drug in the world.
True: And I guess this one comes as no surprise ;Þ
[Look HERE for source :)]
6. The average person laughs 13 times a day.
Uncertain: I have no idea. I have looked everywhere without finding any answers - but I can tell you that I would probably raise the average :)
7. Elvis was originally blond.
True: For all you Elvis-fans (not TRUE Elvis-fans, of course, they already knew this) out there who have thought that he was the "tall, dark man of your dreams": Elvis was BLOND! Woohoo, the King has fallen! :D Rumors have it that he dyed his hair black because he was a huge Roy Orbison fan. )
[Edit: Blond can mean a lot, though, and he wasn't bright blond. Sources can be found here, here, here and here]
8. The average age of first intercourse is 15.3 years old.
True: This is, however, only true in Great Brittain and the United States. It's not quite the same on a global scale. It can, if we are being nice, possibly be an indication on the average age of first intercourse in the West, but I am guessing that the average age might be somewhat different in fundamentalist moslem countries, for instance :)
[Edit: Here and here are some examples - and there are lots more.]
9. The average erect penis is 5'2" long - and 4'2" circumcised.
True - and doubtfull: Most statistics show the average length of a penis to be around 5'2''. However, the latter claim seems odd. Now: I am not a jew, but I do know that circumsition only involves cutting the foreskin - you don't cut off the top of the penis itself :Þ I think that they might have used the wrong word here, and that they tried to say "around" ("circumference?").
[Edit: Here i have used Wikipedia as source.]
10. Eskimoes use refrigerators to keep food from freezing.
Uncertain: Refrigerators work by pumping out hot air, so that only cold air remains (to explain in very simple terms). Thus it should also be possible to pump cold air out to heat something - and to keep it at around four degrees. But there is a problem. A heat pump, like the ones used in refrigerators, only work one way. You have a vaporizer on the cold side to remove heat, and a condensator on the warm side to absorb heat. It will take too long to explain in detail, but it has to do with differences in pressure. Therefor I originally made the conclusion previously that this was impossibe. However, when I started working as a salesman, I have heard a lot of sales coaches using this particcular example - selling fridges to eskimos - as an example of "thinking outside the box", and so I became a bit uncertain as to whether it might actually be true! I don't really see how it would be suitable for anything else than just pure isolation, but if anyone knows more than me about this - please let me know.
[Edit: For a simple explanation on how a fridge works, click here.]
11. 41% of all people take people with curly hair less seriously.
Doubtful: I guess it's possible, but it seems unlikely. I'd like to see those statistics :Þ Or, well, I might just think that because of my really unserious curls. Hmm...
12. 20% of all females have had at least 1 homosexsual experience.
Uncertain: I have not managed to find reliable statistics on this (and believe me, I have tried!), but one can always hope, right? ^^ However, considering that around 5% of the population at any time is gay, I guess four times as many having experimented isn't that unikely. Let's fight for further female experimentation! And let me know if you want someone cheering you on as you try :)
13. Did you know, that there is no such thing as an anti-wrinkle-creme?
Patially True: It's not really true, since a lot of companies claim that they have anti-wrinkle-creme. However, none of these products actually removes wrinkles or prevent them from appearing :) It is possible that some of them might tighten the skin somewhat right there and then, but wrinkles are excess skin, and they have to be either removed or tightened by surgery or something like collagen. I mean if you put make-up on a zit, it doesn't go away just because it's covered in shit :)
[Edit: This is getting fairly well-known by now, but the industry still claims otherwise. Here is one of my sources.]
14. 22% of the time, a pizza will arrive faster that an ambulance in Great Britian.
Partially True: This is taken from some statistics of the average delivery time for a pizza from a given point to another given point in certain English cities. It is notable, though, that a scooter, which delivers many of the pizzas, can get around a lot more easily during rush hour than a big ambulance.
15. 96% of all women have at one time in their life faked an orgasm.
Not True: This might come as a surprise to some, but the real number - at least according to a danish survey, is closer to 68%. This might vary a lot from country to country for all i know, though. Also, it might be that people are afraid to admit to having faked one. I still think that women should stop that shit, though :Þ The statistics on this are on danish, so I guess a link will do you no good :(
16. 3 people die every year, testing if a 9 volt battery works on their tongue.
Not True: It might be that three people die every year while testing if a 9 volt battery works on their tongue, but it's not the battery that kills them. Maybe they stand in the middle of the road while testing, what do I know. Volts don't kill someone - Amps do, and there's just not enough ampere in a 9V battery to kill a human being. Like I said, I guess they could die while testing, if they get hit by a car for instance, but the cause of death is still the car and not the battery. You have to use at least ten ampere to kill a human being - and a 9V battery has at most 20 milliamps. Quite a way off.
17. The 'Guiness Book Of Records' holds the record for being the most stolen book in the public libraries.
True: Source: Guiness Book of Records :)
18. Butterflies taste with their feet.
True: One of the less surprising facts in the song I guess....That being said - wouldn't it be cool to be able to taste with your feet? You know - licking your own soles after a long day in sweaty shoes? Mmmmmm.....
[Edit: Souces: here, here and here.]
19. 5% of the population is gay.
Sant: I mentioned this earlier as well. There are so many statistics on this that it's hard to decide which - if any - is accurate, but the statistics range from around 3% to around 6%. I do believe, though, that this can only be used for the west. I think that fewer people in, say, Iran would admit to being gay even in an anonymous survey.
20. The worlds best known word is 'okay', the second most well-known word is 'Coca-Cola'.
PArtially True: It's true that the world's most well-known word is 'okay', but I highly doubt that 'Coca Cola' is better known than 'mama' :)
[Edit: Among other site, this one claims that O.K. is the best known word in the world. With regards to "mama" it's probably the only word that has been so similar across the globe. I haven't found sufficient data on this, but considering 'mama' is used in languages like Mandarin, Hindu etc I find it highly unlikely that I am wrong :)]
21. The giraffe can clean its ears with its tongue.
True: And if you haven't seen this, go to a zoo!
22. Charles Chaplin once won 3rd prize in a 'Charles Chaplin look-a-like contest'.
Partially True: I really didn't believe this, but after doing some research on it, I actually foudn it to be at least partially true. Charlie Chaplin did go to a Charles Chaplin look-a-like contest, in a theater in San Francisco, but he didn't even make the final! That's according to local news sources. In an interview after the contest, he said he felt like giving a course in the Chaplin-walk, "both out of compassion and a wish to see things get done right" :)
[Edit: Here my source is once again Snopes. The link isn't direct, but search the site and you'll find it easily :)]
23. In 1995 a Japanese trawler sank because a Russian cargo plane dropped a living cow from 30,000 feet.
Not True: This is an old urban legend with great variation - so if you're thinking "oh, I've heard this one before", you're probably right. But it's not true :)
[Edit: Again Snopes]
24. Only one book has been printed in more copies than the Bible - the IKEA-catalogue.
Partially True: Well...It's true that the IKEA-catalogue has been printed in more copies than the bible. However, saying that the IKEA-catalogue is a book, is using a pretty wide definition of "book"! Also, the IKEA-catalogue changes every year - so I don't really buy the argument.
25. One cigarette takes away five minutes of a person's life.
Partially True: I'm beginning to get sick of writing "partially true"...What you do is take the average age of a smoker, compare it to the average age of a non-smoker, divide the time difference on how many cigarettes the smoker have smoked in his or her life - and voilà, you have lost five minutes per cigarette. In other words - you don't litterally lose five minutes for every cigarette you smoke. But they do add up :)
26. In 1950 we were 3 billion people on the earth - today we are 6 billion people.
Sant: Simple fact.
[Edit: Look here for source :Þ]
27. 'Donald Duck' was banned in Finland, because he doesn't wear pants.
Not True: Donald Duck wasn't even banned in Finland at all. What happened was: The city of Helsinki was short on cash, and the leader of a local party suggested that they should stop buying Donald Duck to local libraries, and prioritize hobbies and sports instead.
It is worth noting that the aformentioned party leader would come to regret the suggestion: Under an election campaign for the Finnish parliament, the press labled him "the man who removed Donald Duck in Helsinki", and he lot the election to another candidat - a man which, for the record, voted for the suggestion :)
[Edit: Snopes]
28. 74% of all nudist-females are nudists because their husbands are nudists.
Uncertain: I couldn't find any statistics on this, and I really don't know what to believe. At first it didn't occur to me all that strange, but the more I think about it, the stranger it seems to me. I'd appreciate any feedback on this one :)
29. More people die from a champagne cork popping, than from poison spiders.
Uncertain: Sorry, but I've drawn a complete blank on this one as well. I have no clue what so ever, and I can't find a single statistic over people dying from champagne corcs popping. I'm guessing it's not many :Þ men her er jeg helt blank. Aner rett og slett ikke, finner ikke noen statistikk over hvor mange som dør av champagnekorker i året, så si gjerne ifra hvis du finner noe!
30. 21% of all traffic accidents happen because the driver falls asleep.
True: This was actually the thing that surprised me the most. One out of every five accidents sounds like a lot, but I have now seen four different reports from four different countries, all showing a figure around 18-22%. Next on the list: Give me some statistics on how many accidents from backing up are caused by women!
[Edit:Here is a careful estimate of around 10%, whereas this speach, written by Torild Skogholm, based on a heap of research material from both Norway and abroad, operates with a figure of 30%. So I guess 21% seems about right - in any case it is a LOT!]
31. Did you know that originally a danish guy invented the burglar alarm? - unfortunately it got stolen.
Not True: This is actually an old "Victor Borge"-joke (it's Danish humor - don't try to understand...), and has nothing to do with facts.
[Edit: Oh my god, done at last! :D This one is also from Snopes. ]
Well, that's it! Comment if anything is wrong, I'll correct it as fast as I can :)
And finally - an additional weird fact that wasn't in the song:
Did you know, the bible has been translated into Klingon? :)
"What About 'The Meaning of Life'??"
Note: This post was first posted February 21.
Yes, I am aware that I said the other blog post would be something I took from my old blog. However, it seems to be down – and has been for a week or so – and so I'd rather spend my time writing something. So sue me. Or wait – don't.
Right now, I am sitting in bed and looking out the window, where the snow is dropping like a sick, heavy cloud. Outside, that is, not in the window itself. Not only that, but it's the second day in a row in which the snow is strangling my fair town. I realize that I hate snow a lot considering I'm a skier. I got my first skis, as far as I know, when I was one-and-a-half years old, and I've been doing alpine skiing on and off for eighteen years. And yet I hate snow. Not all snow, of course. Just the snow that's here. I love snow up in the mountains, because then I choose snow. Have I said 'snow' a lot now? Snowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnow....meh, now it has lost all meaning. I hate when words lose their meaning. But as far as snow goes I can't say that I mind all that much. I fucking hate snow.
I was looking at pictures from the Dominican Republic yesterday. Why the hell do I live in Norway, anyway? I'm a hair away from calling Hamish, asking him to save me a seat in Australia. Away from the forest fires, though. I dislike those. I think I'd even choose snow over forest fires. Well I guess that depends how much snow, and how big forest fires – and how close the forest fires are to me. Right now I like snow less than I like forest fires. But the Dominican Republic has neither snow nor forest fires – perhaps that's the place to move? On the other hand, getting mugged isn't so great either – but you could just as easily get mugged in say Oslo or New York. I've managed to get mugged both places.
There's a lot of fuzz about global warming, but I don't think we see enough of it here in Norway. When are we getting subtropic climate?? I understand that we can't have that in the north, from Trondheim and up, since we do need ski resorts, but how about down here in the south? By the way, I think that should be FrPs (the Norwegian progress party – which deny that global warming is caused by human activities) new slogan: «FrP – Because 20 degrees Celsius Isn't Really Summer».
I may have mentioned it already, but I will probably post both audio and video here eventually. And photos? Maybe. Possibly. I'm not too fond of photos really. And I'll write a lot about war and peace and religion and politics and stuff. Okidok? Goodie.
Yes, I am aware that I said the other blog post would be something I took from my old blog. However, it seems to be down – and has been for a week or so – and so I'd rather spend my time writing something. So sue me. Or wait – don't.
Right now, I am sitting in bed and looking out the window, where the snow is dropping like a sick, heavy cloud. Outside, that is, not in the window itself. Not only that, but it's the second day in a row in which the snow is strangling my fair town. I realize that I hate snow a lot considering I'm a skier. I got my first skis, as far as I know, when I was one-and-a-half years old, and I've been doing alpine skiing on and off for eighteen years. And yet I hate snow. Not all snow, of course. Just the snow that's here. I love snow up in the mountains, because then I choose snow. Have I said 'snow' a lot now? Snowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnow....meh, now it has lost all meaning. I hate when words lose their meaning. But as far as snow goes I can't say that I mind all that much. I fucking hate snow.
I was looking at pictures from the Dominican Republic yesterday. Why the hell do I live in Norway, anyway? I'm a hair away from calling Hamish, asking him to save me a seat in Australia. Away from the forest fires, though. I dislike those. I think I'd even choose snow over forest fires. Well I guess that depends how much snow, and how big forest fires – and how close the forest fires are to me. Right now I like snow less than I like forest fires. But the Dominican Republic has neither snow nor forest fires – perhaps that's the place to move? On the other hand, getting mugged isn't so great either – but you could just as easily get mugged in say Oslo or New York. I've managed to get mugged both places.
There's a lot of fuzz about global warming, but I don't think we see enough of it here in Norway. When are we getting subtropic climate?? I understand that we can't have that in the north, from Trondheim and up, since we do need ski resorts, but how about down here in the south? By the way, I think that should be FrPs (the Norwegian progress party – which deny that global warming is caused by human activities) new slogan: «FrP – Because 20 degrees Celsius Isn't Really Summer».
I may have mentioned it already, but I will probably post both audio and video here eventually. And photos? Maybe. Possibly. I'm not too fond of photos really. And I'll write a lot about war and peace and religion and politics and stuff. Okidok? Goodie.
Introduction
I am Stefanus, more commonly known as "Mr. D" - or by some of you as Ranefer. I have no expectations regarding my ability to amuse the people reading this blog - i merely write for my own amusement and pleasure - but if anyone is offended, I will be very happy indeed.
The first post - after this, I mean, so I guess technically it's the second post...fine, the second post is about "The Meaning of Life", and it's taken from a blog i wrote years ago on which I never continued to write. Enjoy if you so please, and remember - revenge is a dish best served cold.
This is a translation of the "original", norwegian post, so it might not be updated as frequently as translating everything takes a lot of time. However, it will eventually contain all the information from the original blog. Since this is my own writings, I give myself permission to make artistic changes to the text :Þ
The first post - after this, I mean, so I guess technically it's the second post...fine, the second post is about "The Meaning of Life", and it's taken from a blog i wrote years ago on which I never continued to write. Enjoy if you so please, and remember - revenge is a dish best served cold.
This is a translation of the "original", norwegian post, so it might not be updated as frequently as translating everything takes a lot of time. However, it will eventually contain all the information from the original blog. Since this is my own writings, I give myself permission to make artistic changes to the text :Þ
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